Never cease to be amazed

This is why I love people… They never cease to amaze me. I was *gently reminded the other day not to put people in categories and boxes–not to simply assume.  Ok…no more assumptions.

..ok, so that doesn’t work so well.  We, as humans, almost HAVE to make assumptions, and categorize people/things.  It’s part of how our brain works–how we remember, learn etc.  However, it never hurts to be reminded that those categories aren’t always correct.  In fact, they rarely are.  However, unless we understand this and seek to break through our assumptions, we will only see the category, and never be blessed with the uniqueness of each individual.  We will never see a person for who they really are because we will never ask questions that would lead us out of the assumption and category.  Contented with our categorization and assumptions, we will never seek to understand him/her completely for we will not even be aware that there is much to know…much, much more.

Of course, then comes the hard part: finding the time and opportunities to ask the questions to break past those assumptions.  I hope those opportunities arise.  I quite enjoy learning new things and having good conversations. 

Dealings with “personalities”

I recently collided with a reality that will soon become a regular part of my life: “Personalities.” You know them — those people who are just hard to deal with. Granted, I’ve had run-ins with these types before, but not very often. I’m usually a low-key, easy to get along with person. It takes a lot to aggrevate me. Perhaps even more to disturb my state of peace for an extended period of time. but alas, I am a girl. And my inability to “let go” is torturing me once again:

Have you ever been so invisible that once noticed, no one really knows Why you even exist? Then, to top it all off, any possible contribution you may be able to make to a group is deemed unsuitable and insalvagable? My faith in humanity keeps me from believing that these comments and attitudes are intentional digs at my self-esteem. No, I’d much rather assume that I’m just That Good at blending in (aka: being invisible). However, there are times, when I must consider intentional psychological manipulation. (yes, this is the night for “big” words…forgive me if I’m just rambling)

So…I realize that I am not the most talented person in the department. Not by far. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I’m interested in design simply because it is hard for me. it’s something that I have to work at. Something challenging, yet fun. I like challenges. However, I sometimes feel like my work, although equal in quality and creativity, is valued less than some of the more “talented” students. But that’s ok with me. I don’t HAVE to be perfect. I rarely have a serious emotional attachment to my work.

Others, however, do have these insane attachments to “perfect” work. Today’s “incident” involved the need for an individual to do all the work in a group project (rejecting any input from those who actually wanted to help). Normally, I’m thrilled when this happens. hey, more time for me to focus on other things, right? However, when I was talked down to as if I were a child who could not understand the need for compromise, I reacted in a not-so Christlike way.  I retaliated with sarcasm and demeaning comments.

Afterwards, I realized that I will forever encounter this type of person, and there will be times when my job (or the quality of a project) will rely on my ability to be able to offer creative and logistical suggestions/solutions without causing a huge disturbance in group dynamics. …wow…that sounds complicated: more simply put: get my view across without upsetting the “authority”/”personality.

So how does one do this? very carefully. that’s about all I’ve figured out. I guess different people require different techniques.  Sometimes it’s necessary to stand up and fight, others, to sit back and watch the person destroy themselves in their own egos.  However…one thing I have determined…I cannot try to change this person, nor should I wish ill upon them.  Perhaps that seems paradoxical–for them to not change will inevitably lead to their destruction.  However, it is not my job to make them see this.  No, I am simply to figure out how to adapt myself to the situation.  And so I will…

So…how does one deal with “personalities?”