More thoughts from Chesterton…

As previously stated, I’m currently reading GK Chesterton’s Orthodoxy. I read it once in high school, but remembered very little beyond that Chesterton is fully of British sarcasm that made me laugh while making me think deeply about my philosophy on life and religion. And…I have not been disappointed.

Today’s quote: “There is something psychologically Christian about the idea of seeking for the opinion of the obscure rather than taking the obvious course of accepting the opinion of the prominent.”

Think about it. Read it again. seeking for the opinion of the obscure rather than taking the obvious course…

As I read this, I automatically think about the choices that lay before me: counseling or media. I’ve fought with myself constantly on this issue over the course of the past year. I find myself wavering. Yet, as I stand now, I don’t understand why I waver so much. To me, it’s a choice between reality and illusion.

Do I work with real people, with real problems, to find real and lasting answers? Or, do I manipulate images, ideas, and people’s psyche in order to tell or sell them something that is not even real in an eternal sense?

The obscure often find themselves downtrodden and beaten up. As a psychologist, I will seek to uncover the obscure. Mass Media, are channels devoted to listening to the prominent. Despite the current Po Mo trends towards decentralization and grass roots movements, the ultimate goal of mass media, as a whole, is amplify the prominent. To rally humanity behind what it already accepts.

Suddenly, the choice between the two is very clear. Alas, art will remain for me an enjoyable pastime. Rather than try to bolster my own feeble voice, I shall listen to those who feel they have none. Perhaps one day the two will merge. Until then, I shall proceed to give voice to the obscure.

Conversations in nonConformity

I just finished journaling, turned out the light, and decided that I should write some more. So here I am. Yes, I am tired. It makes me believing I’m deeper and more profound than I really am. So…deal.

I had an interesting conversation with Laura on Friday.   We talked a lot about relationships.  And it shifted to a brief conversation about my discomfort in being friends with someone who is popular and charismatic.

I hate feeling that I’m just another annoying person who won’t leave them alone.   Chalk it up to an emotionally unresponsive upbringing…or not.  I’d rather attribute it to being human.  A daugher of Eve. More importantly, a daughter of the King.  Of course, I realize this attribution makes me the same as millions of others…daughers of the Most High, who are just as special as I believe I am.  And who  desire to be seen as special.  Unique.

I don’t often assume that I’m alone in these feelings.  I know I’m not.  Deep down, everyone wants to be special.  Everyone wants to be noticed.  to be known.  to be found as worthwhile and acceptable for who they are, not who they know or what they can do.  Ultimately, it comes down to the desire to be known and lived intimately.  Perhaps in this age of information, we desire this all the more.  After all…why would we possible wish to type up our thoughts and post them on the internet for the world to see, if it were not for the desire for someone to know us.  Who cares if we’ve not met them, or may never talk to them in person about what we have shared?   The simple act of sharing is what matters…at least in our minds.

But that’s so…futile.  Who cares?  Sometimes we hid behind our technology so much, we rarely make for ourselves opportunities to know be intimate.  I’m not talking abou sex.  Society doesn’t have a problem with the act…except that it’s often used as a substitue for something bigger.  deeper.  We desire to be known, yet hid behind our smiles, small talk, and computer screens.  I am the greatest of offenders.

We desire to be known.  So we join groups, clubs, churches, etc.  We desire to fit in.  We want to stand out, yes, but not too much.  To stand out too much results in isolation.  no one is ever known in isolation.  But…who is truely known in a crowd, either?  To be just another face.  Another body in the masses.

This is where my aversion to all things popular comes in.  I have little desire to be a lemming.  I tend to stay away from people to whom a people are attracted, because it means I would become just another face.  One more person to boost an ego.  Granted, I realize that I lose out on knowing some amazing people.  Sometimes I regret this.  Normally, my individuality is more important (I am such an American).

but what happens when I really do desire that which has gained the attention and favor of the crowd?  Be it material possessions: iPods, macbooks, etc, or immaterial ones: relationships, beliefs attitudes, convictions.  Perhaps I must get beyond my pride and doubt that I’m “good enough” and return to true nonConformity.

nonConformity: acting without regard for what others do, think, or say.  to not base my life on the opinions of others, be it approval or disapproval.  …to not let popularity and crowds dissuade me.

…now it’s bedtime.