This evening I went to vespers as has become my custom over the past year or so. Tonight we prayed an Akathist to Christ, light to those in darkness. It was an interesting reminder, to be honest. I remember praying this Akathist for the first time last year about this time. I was in the midst of depression–looking back on it I can see more clearly how bad it really was, but I knew even then that it wasn’t simply a period of feeling “down” or “blue”…life was dark. Even on the brightest, most gorgeous fall days, I wandered through life as if it were the middle of a cold and cloudy night. That night, as I chanted, prayed, and listened to the words of this beautiful prayer, my heart was warmed. I remember gazing on the icons of Christ and seeing love shining forth from his eyes. Love and compassion. Every section, every sentence, every word seemed to resonate deep within me…for I was one of those in darkness. And I knew it.
This year, I approached with a different vantage point. Tonight, I approached with people other than myself heavy on my heart. Chemical imbalance currently in check, and my job suddenly a lot less stressful, I approached as one who currently rests in light, not darkness. I remembered my first experience, filling my heart with even more light to see how far I have come.
And yet, I was reminded of how quickly things can change. How although I may not be in the midst of the darkness of last year, I am surrounded by those who struggle; those who need my prayers and encouragement.
Lord, Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on those in darkness.
